Here’s a quick excerpt from the movie script I’m currently working on, ‘Death & Taxes’. This is one of the two main characters, Dick’s, first scene.

(Apologies for the format, but it still reads like a script!)

FADE IN:

INT. Luxury RESORT Apartment, Tenerife – day

Scene opens and we see DICK OSRAN, a weasel-ey looking man in his mid 30’s in a cream coloured cotton suit, a gaudy multicoloured shirt with less than half of it’s buttons done up, wearing gold, mirrored aviator sunglasses, meeting with a Spanish real-estate agent, ESTEBAN, a small, suited and grey haired man. They are talking in a five-star resort apartment in Tenerife in mid-winter.

Dick

(mock astonishment)

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, how much?”

Esteban

40 thousand Pesetas my friend, is cheap for a place like this, but if you can’t afford…

Dick walks over to the kitchen and eyes up the counter, before running his hand along the smooth surface and grimacing.

Dick

You bloody Spaniards are all the same, rip-off merchants the lot of ya! I mean come on, look at this mate, this marble ain’t even Italian. I’ve seen nicer crack houses!

Dick walks over to the sink and fiddles with the gold-plated tap, mumbling under his breath to himself. He walks out of the open plan kitchen and back into the living room, sitting down on the leather couch next to the window and putting his feet up on the coffee table. He then reaches into his blazers inside pocket, pulls out a pack of cigarettes and takes one and puts it in the corner of his mouth before returning the carton to its pocket. He then checks his pockets and begins to pat himself down.

DICK

(slightly muffled due to cigarette in corner of his mouth)

Fuck. Oi, Emilio, you got a light?

Esteban pulls out a pack of matches that he hands over to Dick, before walking back to the other side of the coffee table.

DICK

(slightly muffled)

No wonder you want so much for this crap ‘ole, maybe then you could afford a bloody lighter!

Dick lights the match and cups his hands to protect the flame, brings them to his face where the cigarette is hanging from his mouth and lights it before he throws the used match over his shoulder and out of the open window he is sat next to. He throws Esteban back his pack of matches, who fumbles and drops them before leaning down and picking them up off the floor.

ESTEBAN

(Mumbles)

Maldito Ingles (‘fucking English’)

 Dick takes a long drag before exhaling.

DICK

(slightly muffled)

Six-hundred thousand.

ESTEBAN

Huh?

DICK

(smirking, slightly muffled)

Look mate, to be brutally honest with ya I’d rather stay in a flowery dell (cell) then ‘ere, but I ain’t got a choice. So, how about six-hundred grand?

Dick stops to take a drag of his cigarette before carrying on.

DICK

(slightly muffled, italics imitate spanish accent)

Thats six months up front. With a sizeable discount for six months up front. It’s my final offer, my friend. Come ooooon…

Dick lowers his head and looks at Esteban over his gaudy, gold, mirrored aviator sunglasses, his cigarette hanging from his mouth drops ash onto his lap.

DICK

(slightly muffled)

I’ve had enough of your game now. Just say yes like I know you’re 

DICK (CONTD.)

(slightly muffled)

gonna. Then you can hurry up and run along home and tell your 

missus to break out the red panties.

Dick puts out his cigarette on the windowsill before flicking the butt out of the window. He then stands quickly with a clap, and rubs his hands together.

DICK

Right, wheres the shitter Emilio?

ESTEBAN

The sheet-ah? I- I no understand, what you…

DICK

The bloody toilet Emilio, where’s the toilet?

Esteban points at a room down the corridor to his left.

Dick

Have a think about it, my friend.

Dick strolls on over to the toilet and walks inside, where he spots the cavernous marble bath-tub with benches and jets running along the side, and a built in champagne-holder, stocked with flutes and an ice-bucket. He picks up one of the flutes, turns it over and inspects the fancy little recess in the wall next to the tub.

Dick

(mumbles to self)

Fuck me. People live like this?

He turns around and pokes his head out again.

DIck

Oi Emilio, this tub’d barely fit three people, and how am I supposed to fit a pint in this silly little hole!?

Dick laughs at his own joke and shuts the door without waiting for an answer. Esteban paces up and down the living room, before quickly glancing over at the toilet when he hears a flush. Dick walks out and dries his hands on his thighs, before patting his chest and smoothing out his suit.

DICK

Right Emilio, lets wrap this up, places to be and all that. So I’ve 

DICK (CONTD.)

been doing some thinking, actually, a lot of my best ideas come when I’m on the sheetah. Lets 

call it 500,000. That’s my final offer, what do ya say?

ESTEban

But you say 600,000 before?

DICK

I know, I know mate, but then I saw the bathroom. Hardly the Ritz is it?

ESTEBAN

I give you so much already, how can you ask for more? 575, no more!

DICK

Lets do 550, meet in the middle. I said I’d had enough already. Come on Emilio, you and I both know, you’re not got gonna get that kind money at this time of year otherwise.

ESTEBan

I don’ know…

DICK

Emilio, have you ever heard the saying ‘a deals only fair when both parties walk away unhappy?’ Now, I dunno know about you but, I feel like I’m getting pretty shafted here…

Dick extends his hand towards Esteban, who looks at it for a beat. He looks up at Dick who’s expression is impossible to read behind his gold, mirrored, aviator sunglasses besides the smug, lopsided leer. Esteban takes his hand and shakes it.

DICK

(wide grin)

Pleasure doing business with ya!

End scene

Fade out

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